The sweet little neighbor kid came up to me today and said, "You have big legs." I turned to him and replied, "Yes, I have big legs, and you have little legs." He smiled and shook his head and corrected me, "No, you have big and CHUNKY legs." Ah, yes, I do. That little munchkin was already associating being overweight as something different, something inappropriate (as evidenced by his wry little smile when he said "chunky"), and something to talk about. Ah yes, let's talk about being chunky, chubby, overweight, morbidly obese, and all of the other wonderful ways of saying, "You're fat."
The kid was making on observation. Compared to his family, I am definitely fat. My legs are big. My legs are chunky. I know how big I am. I put on the size 14 pants that are a little too tight and leave a red line on my waist. Comfortable? Well, not so much, but the ring of red is a reminder that I need to truck my chunky legs to the gym for treadmill time. I might have to ponytail extension* my pants until I lose an inch, but I will not buy a size 16. I have spent a small fortune on clothing over the past two and a half years having made the journey from a size 22 down to a size 8 back up to a size 14 (and a smidgen). The moving scale has definitely caused a dent in my pocketbook. Ugh. The cost of clothing will be discussed a few times in the upcoming weeks.
Hey there little dude, you pint-sized speaker of truth, thanks for the reality check. You had the guts to call me out on my chunky thighs. Not too many men are brave enough to do that - at least to my face. Although my size might be my current norm, it is, in fact, not normal. I am working on working out and eating healthy, so I know that my size is decreasing. I'll make sure to run into the little dude in my spandex running tights again in six weeks. On a side note, how come I only run into people I know when I am spandexed out? I never run into people I know after an amazing haircut or when I am having one of those all too rare, "Uhm, I've got it going on" days.
Little dude, since we are being truthful, I wanted to let you know that I have you on flip video singing along with your current favorite artist, Justin Bieber. I'll make sure to play this for you and your girlfriend when you are 16-years-old. Baby, Baby, Baby Oh. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I'm sending a video file to your parents as soon as I hit post. Little dude, there is a place for truthful commentary, and there is a place for karma. The two will meet again in approximately 12 years. Mwahahahahaha.
Ciao for now.
*If you don't know what this is, then you have probably never battled the last 5 pounds or the last 5 pounds to the next pant size. Grab one of your chunky friends, or a friend who wears pants that are a little too tight, and ask for the details.
No comments:
Post a Comment